Sometimes life just goes its way, sometimes time doesn't stop nor wait...
I've been feeling lost lately, without direction, without a dream to pursuit, without something worthy to hold on to; for the first time in my life I've fallen and didn't rise up again.
Without even noticing it I've been crawling on the darkness of my dispair, I've been disregarding everything without even trying to give it a chance, I've been letting everything to go away...
I can't feel my strength, I can't see my determination, I can't find the will to keep up, and all I feel and all I see is those dreams I have lost, those dreams I haven't fulfilled, those dreams I haven't even pursuit.
I'm aware that I can't, I don't, I won't are the kind of words that won't take me anywhere, the inescapable result of fulfilling others expectations, of letting others to tell me what I can or cannot do; but most of all, I'm aware that it is my fault, it is my mess, and I'm the only one who can rebuild what I've burned along with my lost gone bravery.
I'm sick and tired, I live in pain from the wounds my stupid crusade to do for others what I don't do for myself have caused me, and sadly I still lack the courage to do what I need to do to get out of this, because for the first time in my life I'm not gonna quit on something, I will finish it whaterver the cost, and maybe if I my dreams haven't bleed to death, if I last enough, then I'll have my chance to do what I want to do instead of what I have to, may be I'll get my chance to finally be happy...
I know that I have to start again, I can't remain in the shadows anymore and I refuse to keep existing on the abism, every second chance begins with a first step and I'm gonna take it with everything I am for everything I will be; no matter how hard it will be, no matter how long it takes, no matter how far away it rests because I'm never gonna stop anyway.
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