Look at you. Just look at you Erika, at where you are, where you’re standing. You’re at the exactly same place you’re always at since you chose to give him the benefit of the doubt, since you decided to close your eyes to what he really is.
He’s not a tormented soul, an under valuated artist of loneliness, he’s just a prick, another stupid man that cannot and will not value you as you should be valuing yourself. But you just keep giving chances; you keep offering him non stoppable opportunities to hurt you the best he can.
What makes him so special? He even isn’t what you always wanted! Yet there you are acting like he’s the only man on earth. He only devotes himself to himself and to disappoint you in any imaginable way! And you honestly pretend to forgive him? He doesn’t even apologize!
You’re not sad, no. Because somehow you knew this was about to happen, it was only a matter of time so it doesn’t really surprises you, although you did expected to have a little more time to gather more phony memories and empty promises. Doesn’t that look pathetic to you? To be sitting around just silently waiting for the next stroke hoping it isn’t fatal? Hoping it doesn’t take the best of you and hide it wherever you can’t find it?
Oh but you are mad! Yes, you are furious with him! You know what? You should be! But you should also look at the mirror and point the finger to the person that allowed you to reach this point, that’s right, you! So do yourself a favor and don’t forget that anger, store it, treasure it, because it is your pride calling, it is your dignity jelling that you need to go back to your senses and find yourself again, the real you, not that hilarious and sad person he made of you.
You are a strong, independent, brilliant, beautiful woman; you know that, everyone see that, then why on earth do you linger around the only human being incapable of valuing it?
I really hope you stop giving chances. I really pray for you to see what you’ve become and remember that amazing, unstoppable, unreachable woman you really are, this is not funny anymore, so stop making a joke out of yourself. Stop asking he who has no eyes, to see. Stop making castles on the clouds out of ashes. Start realizing there’s a road right in front your feet, just see the way out and take it.
I promise there will be bad days, there will even be terrible days, but I also promise there will be great days, many of them, until one day if you’re strong and patient enough, you’ll wake up without even a glimpse of him on your head or even better, on your heart. I promise it will be over and when it does you’ll be a better, stronger, healthier version of yourself; you will be everything you’re meant to be and more, by yourself, all alone.
So this is your chance for redemption, this is the time of daring and taking everything you deserve, for un-crying the fantasies that turned into the reasons for not walking away. I am there, on the other side of the abysm, your true self ready to start flying and stop falling. Who do you choose to be? Where do you choose to end? When do you choose to start?
No hay comentarios.:
Publicar un comentario